Lisa McLellan's blog

Can you accept a compliment graciously

My good friend Rob Northrop commented on my last blog about how we also need to teach children to be able to accept a compliment graciously.  This is very important.  So many kids, especially preteen and teenage girls it seems, do not accept compliments well, and can even make the person who gave them the compliment wish they never said it. 

Once when I was in 6th grade, I told my friend that I thought she was really pretty.  She said, "No I'm not."  Of course, I said, "You really are.  You are so pretty!"  Her response was, "Shut up, don't say that!  I hate when people say that to me."    Boy, was I sorry I paid that girl a compliment. 

I can remember feeling really embarrassed and uncomfortable when people would compliment me when I was a teen.  One of the most valuable lessons that I learned at modeling school in my younger day was how to graciously accept compliments without feeling awkward.

Several months ago, I had the pleasure of meeting Stewart Emery, one of the speakers at Kevin Hogan's wealth seminar in Las Vegas.   While we were talking he paid me a wonderful compliment.  I simply smiled and said "thank you."  He then asked me where I learned to accept a compliment.  That in itself was a compliment to me.

Begin teaching your children these social graces while they are young.  Nobody should ever feel uncomfortable giving or receiving compliments or praise.

 

 

StewartEmery&LisaMcLellan

 

Polite and Gracious too

Some nannies and babysitters spend long hours with the children they care for.  So most will spend at least a little time teaching or playing learning games with the kids.  While learning the basics such as the alphabet, colors, shapes and numbers is very important, it is also important to teach children to be polite and gracious as well.

When somebody buys a gift for a child and the child reacts negatively, it usually hurts that person at least a little.  Even though adults understand that children usually like getting toys instead of clothes, they still might feel a bit down if a child reacts with an angry expression, complains, or whines when he or she opens the present they've purchased for him or her.

Explain to children before birthday parties or holidays about which responses to gifts are appropriate, and which are not.  Give them a hypothetical situation with the roles reversed to help them understand how the giver feels.  Tell that that unwanted gifts can usually be exchanged so there's no need to say things like "this isn't the one I wanted!" or "I already have this game!" or "I don't like this kind!" 

It doesn't take much energy to just smile and say thank you!

Lisa McLellan

Child Care Expert

 

Too Many Toys This Holiday Season

Did your kids receive "too many" toys this holiday season? This is a common complaint amongst parents from large families when all their siblings buy gifts for all the children or in blended families when children end up with four sets of grandparents and "step-aunts & uncles." This happens even in smaller families sometimes as well.

If the amount of toys seems overwhelming to you, save some for later!  After the children open their presents, take a few that they seem less interested in, and put them away in a closet or attic. Then, after a few months when the children get bored of their other toys, swap them out. Put away a couple that they've lost interest in and take out some of the new ones. Save a new one or two for a rainy day!

You can even do this with toys that aren't new. Take some toys that the kids haven't played with in a while and tuck them away. A few months later, they seem like brand new toys when you pull them out and the children will enjoy playing with them all over again. 

You can also put a few toys in a "babysitting box."  Put a box or bin in a closet or under a bed and only take it out when the babysitter comes.  The box can contain necessary items like a flashlight in case the power goes out, a small first aid kit, and bathtub thermometer, in addition to toys, games, and maybe a movie or two if you allow your children to watch movies while they're being cared for by a babysitter.

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Tips, Jobs, and Classes

 

What can you touch in the kitchen

Baking is an activity that is a common favorite of younger babysitters.  Although cooking and baking can be a lot of fun, when you are babysitting you need to get permission from the parents if you are planning on using the oven and/or their ingredients to create something in the kitchen.  If the parents say it is alright for you to bake, make sure that you:

1. use a recipe and actually create something edible - do not just pour different ingredients into a bowl for the fun of it.
2. clean up everything.  This includes washing bowls, pots and pans, utensils, and measuring cups & spoons.  Also remember to wash off the counter, table, and any other surfaces you were working on.  And, don't forget to sweep the floor to remove any crumbs or food debris that may have fallen.
3. use extra caution with the children around.  Small children get excited when they are helping to bake treats and can reach for a hot pan with their bare hands, or dip their fingers in a bowl of batter while the electric mixer is still mixing it.

One last point to remember is that just because you (and the children) baked the item, doesn't mean that you eat it all or take it home.  If you used your client's ingredients, leave the food behind.  If you brought all the ingredients it's ok to take it home with you but it would be nice to leave some for the family since you did use their pans and oven to bake it.

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Tips, Jobs, and Classes

 

Save the calls to parents for emergencies only

Even when mom and dad tell you (the babysitter) to call if you have ANY questions, try to refrain from calling unless it is absolutely necessary.  Bring a pre-written list of questions or at least a notebook and pencil and get as much information as you can from parents before they leave so that you don't have to bother them once they are out. 

When parents leave a babysitter or other child care provider in charge of their children to go out and have a good time, they are hoping to leave any kid related issues at home.  Calling parents while they are out to ask if Sara can have ice cream for a snack, if Joey can watch and extra half hour of tv, or if Emily can bring her new dolly in the tub, is not necessary.  Calling parents to say Johnny fell and cut his chin and you think he might need stitches, or should I be giving Caitlin her medicine before bed because she said you forgot, is necessary. 

Use your best judgement.  If you aren't sure what to do in a situation that has to do with a snack or privlege, don't allow it but explain to the child that you will ask his or her parents about it when they get home and if they say it will be ok, then next time you babysit, you will allow it.

Get as much information as you can before the parents leave and your babysitting experience will go a lot smoother.

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Tips, Jobs, and Classes

 

Who is Babysitting, You or the TV

It is so easy to fall into the trap of letting the television babysit the kids, but it is not a good idea.  Television isn't all bad.  There are many great educational programs for kids and adults alike.  But, too much of anything isn't good.  Also, children become hypnotized by the tv and sit for hours in front of it.  Usually it is not educational programming that they are watching, but even when it is, the child is still stationary and getting zero exercise!  With obesity on the rise, limiting time spent is front of the tv is very important.

When you babysit for a new family, be sure to ask about television restrictions.  Some parents may say no tv viewing is allowed.  Some may allow only certain shows, while still others don't mind how much their kids watch.  Even in a home where the parents don't mind extended tv viewing, you should try to avoid it by offering to play games with the children, read to them, or go for a walk.  After all, you are getting paid to care for the children, not to sit around doing nothing until the parents get home.

If the children are allowed to watch even a few shows and reject your attempts to do something else, then watch with them and discuss what's happening to make it interactive.  After the show, do some activities associated with the show.  For instance, if the show talked about the number five, then have a snack associated with the number five such as a piece of celery with five drops of peanut butter on it.  Use blocks and put different shapes in groups of five and see which group can make the tallest tower.

If the show involves two friends that had a fight and then made up, you could have the child come up with other solutions to their problem.  Try having the children draw the friends making up or doing something fun together.  Have them put on a play recreating the tv show and act out what happened and how it was resolved. 

Anything you can do to avoid having the tv just be a box that the children stare at for hours is helpful.  Watch television sparingly and create activities for the kids when they do watch it.  Televisions don't make great babysitters, great people do!

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Tips, Jobs, and Classes

 

Why Talk to a Baby

Why talk to a baby when he can't understand you anyway?  Whether you are a parent, sibling, babysitter, or any other kind of caregiver, you shouldn't feel silly talking to infants and babies.  They love the attention and are slowly learning the language.  If you are making lunch, just talk about what you are doing.  If you are thinking about what you will be doing while the baby naps, think out loud.  Even if you can't think of anything to say, sing a little song or nursery rhyme.

It's so easy to talk baby talk to babies, and fun to mimic a toddler's words.  But, you should try to refrain from mispronouncing words on purpose.  The baby is learning from you all the time and so if you mispronounce words, so will he.  The more you talk to the baby, the faster he will understand and learn to speak himself.  Save the silence for sleep time!

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Tips, Jobs, and Classes

Eat That? No Way!

Many 4 to 6 year olds start losing interest in eating.  Some refuse to try new foods, some refuse to eat and engage in a power struggle with parents, and some copy what they see. 

• Try to model good behavior whenever possible for your child.  Your child is watching even when you're eating.  If you don't eat breakfast, don't be surprised if your child doesn't.  This isn't really the best choice for a child, especially if she is headed off to school and needs energy to think, learn and play.  Many adults drink coffee in the morning which fills them up so they don't eat breakfast.  But children should have something in the morning even if it is a small breakfast.
• If you find yourself dealing with power struggles at the dinner table, try telling your child that she may choose 2 out of the 3 items served to eat.  When a child has some choice in the matter she will be more likely to stop struggling for power.
• Let the kids help prepare dinner.  Of course, don't allow them to use sharp knives, but have them pour, stir, sprinkle, wash, and any other simple preparations they can do to the food.  When they are part of the preparation project, they are more likely to eat what they've helped create.
• Try to have several different types of food available at mealtimes for your child.  Foods with different colors and textures are very appealing to children.
• Talk about where the fruits and vegetables come from and whether they grow on trees, vines, underground etc.  You may want to avoid discussing where meats come from, as this can be upsetting to many children.
• Keep portions small so the child doesn't get overwhelmed just looking at the plate.  You can always add a little more later.
• Children often like to imitate their parents.  Tell stories about how you ate different things when you were a kid.  For instance, you might tell how you liked to eat the seeds off of cucumber slices first, or maybe you cut tomatoes in half, sprinkled them with salt and ate them just like that. 

Try not to get upset with a child for not eating because she may just be looking for attention as well.  Have patience, when she's hungry enough - she'll eat!

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Tips, Jobs, and Classes

 

How Can You Get Baby to Give up the Bottle

Many "experts" have different opinions on when it is time to wean your baby off of the bottle.  I don't believe there is a set age or time limit.  However, I personally feel that the longer a child uses anything, whether it be a bottle, a pacifier, or a security item, the longer it will take and the harder it will be to wean them off of it.  Security items such as blankets and stuffed animals are fine for children to keep as they don't have any effect on the child's health.  But, they should be washed or cleaned often.  Some kids still use security blankets up to and during school years, but using a bottle in 3rd grade would be highly unusual!

When you decide it is time for your baby to dump the bottle, try these helpful tips:

• Start baby early on a sippy cup with a silicone lid such as NUBY BPA FREE 14 oz Easy Grip No Spill Cup with Soft Silicone Spout .  It feels more like a bottle and so baby adjusts to it more easily than sippy cups with hard plastic lids.  Start a few months before you actually plan on having baby off the bottle.  Try just an ounce or two at a time and try at regular feeding times so baby is hungry and eager to eat.  Try a couple of times, if baby completely rejects the cup, wait a few days or a week and try again.  Sooner or later he'll accept it.  Then replace one feeding at a time with a cup instead of a bottle.
• Once baby can successfully drink from a sippy cup, even if you have to hold it for him, start putting all of baby's milk or formula in it and save the bottle for water only. 
• Often the bottle is a source of comfort for your baby or toddler.  Be sure to give lots of hugs and cuddles when transitioning to the cup.  Obviously if your baby is still small, you would hold him to feed him from a bottle or sippy cup.  But even if your baby is older and able to hold a bottle or cup himself, hold him and cuddle him while he drinks from the cup.  He will enjoy the feelings of security and comfort and soon feel completely comfortable with it.
• If your toddler is reluctant to give up the bottle, set a new rule that he can only have his bottle sitting down on a chair or sofa without tv or toys.  Toddlers are very active and love to move around and play.  Soon, the bottle will not be worth having to sit still.  (I am not implying that a toddler should be allowed to run around with a cup.  But, rules should be different for the cup.  Perhaps the child is allowed to carry the cup with him and just needs to stop to drink from it.  Maybe he can sit and play on the floor while drinking from a cup, or watching tv is allowed while sitting on the sofa and drinking from the cup.)

Don't give up, stick to your plan, and eventually you will prevail.  Remember to let babysitters or any other childcare providers know what you are doing so that they can follow the same plan.  Children respond really well to routines, so avoid breaking the new routine if at all possible.  Your child will soon be bottle free!

Lisa McLellan

Babysitting Tips, Jobs, and Classes

 

Getting the Fruits and Veggies into the Little ones

I'm not sure why it is, but many kids seem to love apple skins when you peel them off of the apples.  When my mom would make apple pie or Dutch apple cake, she would peel 5 or 6 large apples.  My siblings and I would be so excited.  We would sit and watch her peel the apples and as soon as an apple peel hit the table one of us would grab it and thoroughly enjoy eating it.  Now, my kids do the same thing.

If a whole apple was on the table before, during, or after mealtime, it would probably still be there three days later.  Yet, when I begin peeling one, the kids come running.  To make it more exciting, I try to keep the entire peel of the apple in one piece.  Then they want to see who's is longest.  The only problem is that they can't wait for the next apple to be peeled.  They've already started eating the first peel by the time the second one is ready to compare.

I did an earlier post some months back about peeling, slicing, and dicing fruit or veggies for children and serving them while you finish preparing the meal.  You can also try arranging the fruit or veggies into faces or other easily recognizable items.  This is another way of making eating fruit and vegetables more fun.